Why Your Feedback Isn’t Working—and What Neuroscience Says to Do Instead

Neuroscience shows that receiving feedback can activate the same brain regions associated with physical pain. That’s because feedback isn’t just about performance—it’s about social acceptance. When someone feels their status or sense of belonging is threatened, the experience can be deeply uncomfortable.

This is where the SCARF model comes in:

• Status – Our relative importance to others

• Certainty – Our ability to predict the future

• Autonomy – Our sense of control

• Relatedness – Our sense of safety with others

• Fairness – Our perception of fair exchanges

If feedback disrupts any of these pillars, it can trigger a defensive response.

Mindset Matters

People respond to feedback differently based on their mindset:

• Growth mindset: Sees feedback as an opportunity to learn and improve.

• Fixed mindset: Sees feedback as a threat to identity or competence.

Understanding your team’s mindset helps leaders tailor their approach. A growth-oriented culture makes feedback feel like a gift, not a punishment.

Relationships Matter

Feedback lands better when trust exists. Leaders need to model openness by asking for feedback themselves. This creates a culture where feedback is welcomed—not feared. Asking for feedback requires vulnerability and consistency, and when leaders lead by example, others follow.

Moving Beyond 360-Degree Reviews

Gone are the days of rigid, annual feedback cycles. Today, feedback should be:

✔ Timely and relevant – Address issues when they happen, not months later.

✔ Non-threatening – Frame feedback in ways that protect SCARF pillars.

✔ Conversational – Make it a dialogue, not a verdict.

✔ Requested, not imposed – Encourage people to ask for feedback proactively.

Building a Feedback Culture

Creating a feedback-rich environment isn’t easy. It takes trust, consistency, and leadership by example. But when done right, feedback becomes a catalyst for growth, not a source of pain.

What strategies have you seen work for building a healthy feedback culture? Share your thoughts below!

Enhancing Feedback with SCARF