Leading Yourself Well: Lessons From My Journey

If you’d met me in 1998, you’d have seen a young mom balancing textbooks in one arm and my toddler in the other, running mostly on coffee and stubbornness. I was graduating from Georgia Southern with a degree in Spanish and a minor in Economics, less out of grand ambition than pure necessity. Between student loans, diapers, and the hope for a better life, I scraped together every resource I had, leaned hard on my parents, and somehow made it across that stage.

No Clear Path, Just Forward Motion

But even after all that, I didn’t have a clear path. I had a diploma, but I had no idea what to do with it. The years that followed were messy—full of wrong turns, dead ends, and

moments where I had to figure out, again, how to lead myself when no one else was

going to do it for me. That’s been the real theme of my story: learning to lead yourself

exceptionally well, especially when there’s no map and no guarantees. Every pivot,

every reinvention, taught me something about moving forward, even when the road

wasn’t clear.

Taking Leaps of Faith

At one point, I lived in southeast Georgia and commuted 60 miles to Jacksonville,

Florida, for work. The hours were long, and honestly, I was feeling stuck. In 2006, our

family packed up and moved to Denver—a leap of faith that ultimately changed

everything. I fell in love with the mountains, the dry air, and the fresh start. I transferred

with my mortgage company, but just a year later, in 2007, the entire industry collapsed.

Suddenly, I found myself in a brand-new city, with a decade of experience in a field that

had essentially vanished overnight. So what did I do? I did what any good southerner

would do: I baked some cookies and went to meet my neighbors. That small step ended

up opening the next door for me.

Embracing New Opportunities

My neighbor to the west (and yes, in Colorado, we really do give directions by the

mountains) worked for an insurance company. She mentioned they were hiring people

with no experience, and at that point, I thought, why not me? I started working there not

long after, and the job was challenging in all the right ways. I brought over a bunch of

skills from mortgages, but what really changed me was learning to lead a team of real

people, with real struggles, all working together to help someone get back on their feet

after an injury. It was messy, complicated, and sometimes exhausting, but it taught me

more about leadership, collaboration, and resilience than any classroom ever could.

Discovering Emotional Intelligence

By 2011, life was changing again, personally and professionally. I tried my hand at a

different area of insurance, but the itch for something more wouldn’t go away. I

remember reading about successful people and wondering what they knew that I didn’t.

Spoiler: it wasn’t just about not wearing my loud purple Breckenridge sweatshirt to work

(though I learned a thing or two about personal branding along the way). The real

game-changer was discovering emotional intelligence, also known as EQ. I loved that

EQ was something you could develop, not just something you’re born with. So, I got to

work, filling in my gaps, showing up differently, and acting like the leader I wanted to be.

People noticed. Someone passed my name to a recruiter for a leadership role, and

soon, I was finally putting that Organizational Leadership degree to use—the one I’d

nearly forgotten about.

Leading Yourself First

Looking back, the pattern is clear: at every crossroad, I decided to lead myself first. I

made choices that lifted me and my daughters, even when they didn’t make sense to

anyone else. Becoming independent from public assistance after graduation was a

huge milestone - I proved to myself I could be self-reliant. My Spanish degree didn’t

open doors, so I went back for something more practical, even if it took a decade to pay

off. When my environment didn’t fit, I changed it. When I wasn’t happy in my job, I

worked on myself, not just my résumé.

Now, almost thirty years later, I’m stepping into a new chapter, still relying on the same principle: you must lead yourself exceptionally well before you can lead anyone else. That’s the lesson I hope to share.

What’s your story of leading yourself well? Share your thoughts in the comments

below!