Why 'Be Your Authentic Self' Is Bad Leadership Advice

If you scroll through any social media, you will see a barrage of people encouraging you to be your authentic self. In fact, I was at an industry event where the leader talked about being authentic in all that you do, and my thought was, do you really want me to be my authentic self after my toddler just had a meltdown, or after my spouse announced that they want a divorce? No, you absolutely don’t want that. Sometimes we deal with the hard things in life, and we still have to show up for others. We absolutely can’t bring our authentic selves to work when our authentic selves want to shut out the world, curl up in a ball, and cry.

The Problem: Emotional Chaos in the Workplace 

You see, if you are always authentic, you bring emotional chaos to the team. We mirror the emotions and actions of those who lead and influence us. At work, everyone is a leader, no matter what your title; your authentic self will have a mirroring effect on those around you. This kind of unfiltered authentic leadership brings about a threat to those around you. When we show up stressed or anxious, the mirror neurons in our colleagues' brains pick up on that, and then they feel that way, and the next thing you know, you have an entire department of people with frowny faces and bad attitudes.

The Solution: Self-Translation Over Self-Expression

So how do we stop this emotional contagion while still being genuine? The answer lies in what leadership researcher Dr. Andrew Brodsky calls "self-translation." In his book PING, Brodsky argues that authentic communication can't take place if you are focused on your own self-expression rather than self-translation. You see, when we work with and communicate with others, our intent is to help them understand our perspective. If you bring your authentic self and communicate only in ways that serve you, your audience will miss the intent. Brodsky doesn't equate authenticity with oversharing. Instead, he presents authenticity as reliability + clarity, which builds trust over time.

What Authentic Leadership Actually Looks Like

Research on perspective-taking shows that actively considering others' viewpoints enhances our own emotional regulation and decision-making. So self-translation isn't just better for others - it makes us more effective leaders practicing authentic leadership. Being authentic doesn’t mean bringing your every emotion to the table each time you talk. Being authentic is knowing who you are at the core, communicating in ways that serve both your values and your audience, and being the leader others need you to be.

Putting It Into Practice

It doesn’t mean we ignore our emotions about the argument we just had with a colleague or our deep dislike of the changes happening. It means we save them for the proper time to deal with them, and chances are the proper time isn’t the next meeting. The next meeting deserves the leader you are at your core, not the emotions you feel in that moment. True authenticity isn't about emotional transparency - it's about being genuinely committed to bringing out the best in yourself and others.